Understandably, one might think about just the idea of writing a book about your own life as being pretentious and maybe even arrogant and I often thought about that myself. I mean really, why would anyone read a book about me or about my life? What makes ‘me’ so interesting that you would spend the time to read? That’s a good question and one I’m not sure I can answer. What I can say, however, is that certain events in my life have compelled me to put my adventures out there and whatever you may get out of it, whether that be entertainment or maybe even some life lessons, that’s up to you.
It was 1993, I had been managing restaurants in the Twin Cities for the past few years and when plans for a new opening fell through with the chain I was working for, I decided to head back home to re-group. I never did like the restaurant industry but I was confident in the roles I had and knew I could make money at it. In my early twenties I did what a lot of us Mid-Westerners did; I got engaged and I had to figure a way to support a family. She had a child from a previous relationship and for reasons I can’t really explain, I felt like it was my place to take care of both of them. Those plans fell through too.
I’m not going to lie, when we finally called it quits for the last time, I was devastated. But I told myself I would now do all the things I ever dreamed of and nothing or no one would hold me back. I dove head-first into music and decided that would be the first dream I would try to fulfill. Everyone wants to be rock-star right? So I played every day. I sat in on jam sessions at a local bar, I entered music competitions and actually won a few, and I started writing my own music. I’ve always thought it was interesting how events in our lives motivate us to do things; to take chances and my motivation at that time was to prove my ex wrong. She hated me playing music because it took away from her time. She said it was a waste and nothing would ever come of it. Now I had all the time in the world and I was going to make the most of it.
I did have to pay bills, however, so I took a job at a dinner club/resort on Gull Lake called The Quarterdeck. The job itself was completely unfulfilling and the short time I spent there, I might have even regretted if it hadn’t been for meeting Bobby.
Bobby was a woman who worked in house-keeping at the resort. She was in her 60’s as far as I could tell. She had white hair, a frail tiny body about 5 feet 3 inches tall but a toughness about her that you just knew she had been through some ‘things’ in her life. She was a pleasant lady who mostly kept to herself but was also not afraid to engage with those folks that approached her. As much as she gave off the impression of a naïve small-town elderly woman who probably spent most of her life looking after her husband and taking care of her children, she also gave off a sense of confidence that when she spoke, people listened. She was fascinating to listen to and as farfetched and totally out in left field some of the things she said might seem, you knew she was telling the truth and garnered the trust from everyone she spoke to.
I was one of two chefs at the restaurant and when the day-time chef was off, I filled in. What that meant is I often had the chance to meet the daytime staff as they broke for lunch and came to the dining room. Sometimes I would prepare lunch for them, usually consisting of leftovers from the night before but it was better than letting it go to waste and I figured it was a small price to pay to keep the employees happy. Bobby often came to eat lunch with the rest and I quickly found myself spending time getting to know her and listening to her talk with the other employees.
One day it was just Bobby and I in the break-room and she began speaking to me in an intimate sort of way that at first made me uncomfortable. When I say intimate I don’t mean in a weird kind of sexually provocative way but in a kind of way as if she had known me my entire life and talked to me on a level that I’ve rarely—if ever—experienced. She had told me previously that she had been in an accident many years ago and through that accident she had developed the ability to read people. When people say that kind of stuff it’s easy and probably a natural response to just kind of blow them off but when she talked about the experience of the accident, I couldn’t help but to listen and to believe what she was saying.
She talked about dying in the accident. She was even tow-tagged and in the fricken morgue before someone realized she wasn’t dead. She described looking down on the scene and seeing a young woman with her face so disfigured she couldn’t recognize her and then she realized she was looking at herself! She told me she floated away and traveled side by side with a being of sorts that answered all her questions about religion and god and all these pertinent things we all question. At some point not defined by time or distance or at least no comprehension of, they stopped and when she asked why, the being that was with her told her it was being decided whether or not she was to go on or go back.
Bobby cried when she was told she was going back. She pleaded with the being, begging to keep going on with her but she was told it wasn’t her choice. She still had a role; a mission of sorts in her life she hadn’t fulfilled. She had to go back to fulfill her role in life and now talking to her, she said that’s what she was trying to do. She didn’t know herself what that role was or when she would eventually fulfill it but she was drawn to the Quarterdeck for some reason she never really understood and now she was telling me of a life I would live as if she had already witnessed it and it kind of freaked me out. At the same time it was a little addicting and for the next few months, I sought out Bobby on those days I took over for the day-time chef.
I only worked for the Quarterdeck for about six months before moving on but even after I quit I found myself going back and talking to Bobby. What had once freaked me out was now comforting to me. She knew so much about me and would predict seemingly insignificant events such as meeting people at the bar and making sense of such encounters. She encouraged me to continue with my music and not give up. She told me I should continue playing out at the bars and not give up that part of my life and that it would all make sense some day.
One day, while visiting with Bobby, she told me soon my life would change and that one day I would look back with disbelief on all the places I had been. It was early spring and she told me it would be that summer that everything for me would change. She said I would travel around the world meeting thousands of people from many different countries.
It all happened so fast after that. I was at a bar and I met a girl who had hosted a couple students from Up With People; a touring music group. The group traveled the world in 5 different casts representing many different countries spreading the idea of cultural education and tolerance. She asked me if I would like to meet the cast members and see a show.
I interviewed with a couple staff members from UWP and after seeing the show I decided to travel with the group. I was blown away by the accuracy of Bobby’s predictions and to this day feel like I owe her so much. She gave me the courage and the confidence to drop everything and pursue the dream I had to travel and perform music, which in turn has paved a road for a life of continually pursuing dreams.
So getting back to why I’m now writing about some of these adventures? One of the things Bobby told me was to write about my experiences and that people would be interested. Like I said, after failing miserably at the status quo of finding a mate, establishing a family and a household and living the ‘American Dream,’ I’ve decided to live for ‘my’ dreams. One might argue that traveling in UWP doesn’t really constitute being a rock star but I did travel the world performing for thousands of people. From there I finished my degree and went to grad-school; something no one in my family has done.
The past few years I’ve pursued another one of my childhood dreams. I’ve always loved the outdoors and I love teaching people about it. I have established myself as a fly fishing guide in Montana. It hasn’t been easy and it has come with plenty of sacrifices but I absolutely love it and although it’s not as romantic as I once thought it would be, it’s still a pretty damn cool way to live a life and I’m hoping you will find it entertaining and enlightening as well.
I wrote a blog for the first couple years guiding but last August I kind of got away from it. Instead I started writing a book about how I came to be a guide in Montana and some of the experiences I have grown from during that pursuit. I have decided to make that my blog. From here on out I will be sharing with you my pre-published book I’m working on. It will be rough and un-edited. My hope is there will be an honesty and sense of charm to that. It may or may not work but here goes anyway. Read on if you wish.
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