We've had exceptional weather over the past couple weeks, which makes it 1) nice to float without freezing but 2) usually windy as...and even more importantly, 3) the fishing hasn't been great. The problem is, is there are no bugs. We need weather! It should come soon...It is gorgeous out there though.
Last weekend I coordinated the guides for Project Healing Waters out of Great Falls, MT. Again, the weather was outstanding and the vets had a great time. It was the first big trip I've coordinated as an outfitter and although there were a couple hitches, I think we did just fine. The guides were great and everyone caught fish. Thanks, Jim Murray, Matt Hargrave, Matt Mortensen, and Chad DuBose for all your hard work and for taking care of these men and women.
When I was 20 years old I got engaged. For two years I gave that person and her little boy everything I had. I sold out on my dreams and settled for a job I hated in order to make ends meet. I wasn't happy, she wasn't happy and the little boy I grew to love more than anything wasn't happy either. When it finally ended, I vowed to never give up on my pursuits.
Since then I've traveled around the world playing music and performing. I went back to school and finished my degree and then went on to grad school. I was a camp counselor (probably the oldest counselor ever at Camp Tanadoona,) while going back to school and re-acquainted myself with the outdoors. I also had the unique experience to move out to Montana to work in the back country with adjudicated teens and absolutely fell in love with Montana and fly fishing. As a kid I also always dreamt of being some kind of guide so...
It's been a long season. I've been very busy, which is a great thing, and I've stayed busy through mid-October. The last few weeks have been tough though. The irony of living your life for your own dreams is that it can be a very lonely place for those close to you. The paradox becomes; in finding happiness pursuing and obtaining your own goals and dreams, basic needs get left behind.
Like I've said, I've been fortunate to experience and accomplish a lot of things that I would love to share with someone and teach to a little guy or girl. Where I've fallen short is ever being able to maintain any kind of relationship because I have yet to find a partner that shares in those dreams and I'm not willing to give them up. At 44 years old, I guess I'll have to be happy with experiencing sunrises on the river or in the duck blind with Cutter and my bros.
The dream isn't always sunshine and roses, folks. As much as I would love to talk about how great the fishing is or how awesome Cutter did, it's not always the case. Sometimes sadness creeps in and the dream becomes a little unsettling. It's the end of the season and the down time is making me realize that I'm alone again and it's a little sad.
Keep 'em where they live...
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